


Shouldn't

by CeCeWrites



Category: Black Panther (2018)
Genre: And usage of the N word, Erik calls her Baby Girl, F/M, If that makes you uncomforable, Not, Not Proofread, Read, There are swear words, came to me in a dream, do, sorry in advance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 06:52:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17402096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeCeWrites/pseuds/CeCeWrites
Summary: Reader has feelings for Erik and she understands that she shouldn't. He's her best friend, after all.





	Shouldn't

You shouldn’t.

It wasn’t normal.

It wasn’t normal to have these feelings.

It wasn’t normal to think about him the way you do.

You shouldn’t be thinking about the way his smirk just slides across his face and makes him look mischievous.

You shouldn’t be thinking about the way his face softens up when he lays down on your couch to nap because he didn’t want to leave you alone drunk.

You shouldn’t be thinking about how boyish he looks when he plays his PS4.

You shouldn’t think about how good it would feel if he held you at night. How it would feel if he kissed your lips with the same passion he talks with. How it would feel if he called you baby girl and you were truly his.

You shouldn’t.

It wasn’t normal.

And yet you do.

You feel the feelings as strongly as if they were reciprocated.

And you would suffer through them. He’s your best friend.

Sighing, you swiped right to answer the routine phone call from the man that haunted your thoughts.

“Aye, baby girl. Get your thick ass up and be ready by the time I pull up. Let’s get this bread!”

“Erik,” you started, rolling your eyes and contemplating hanging up, “I’m tired. Why can’t it come get me?”

“Hustlin’ don’t have vacation days. Baby girl come on. I ain’t gon’ say it again.”

You hung up on him, letting that be your answer. The sudden buzz from your phone’s vibrating and then his custom ringtone jerked you out of your two-second haze.

You sucked your teeth and placed the pillow over your face. “If you ignore it, he’ll do the same.”

You were wrong. Frustrated, you answered the phone, “WHAT, BOY?”

“I _know_ you didn’t hang up on me!”

“And what if I did? What you gon’ do ‘bout it?”

“I’ll show you better than I can-“

You hung up on him again and got out of bed, not in the mood to deal with his attitude. “Who did it and why lookin’ ass niggas…I swear…they got the wrong one.”

Jumping out the shower, you started your morning playlist, and wrapped a robe around your body. You headed out to the kitchen to start your coffee maker. Only to scream and throw the nearest object you could at the intruder in your house.

_Note to self: buy a gun to hide around the house. A pillow ain’t shit for protection._

“Ah, now you want to act scared and shit? What happened to the girl who had something to say earlier?”

“Man, why you breaking into people houses? That shit illegal.”

You pushed by him, subconsciously tightening your robe. You spun your k-cup holder and grabbed at random. Turning around, he held up a key.

“Give me my key back. Best friend privileges have been revoked.”

He scoffed, “so I guess you ain’t getting any of this then?” He produced a bag of baked goods from the bakery down the street. You rushed to him and tried to grab the brown bag from him.

He placed it above his head, “nah, nah! Best friend privileged revoked! I buy food for my best friend.”

You sucked your teeth, “stop playin’ nigga, and give me my food.” He placed it in your hands and you walked away from him quickly, “sensitive ass.”

You knew he rolled his eyes at you and heard him flop on your couch. “How long you gonna take? We got things to do, baby girl. I can’t be waiting on you the whole day.”

“Damn, can I eat, please? And I thought I told you I ain’t want to do anything today. I’m tired.”

He shrugged, “and I told you hustlers don’t rest. So get dressed, and let’s get moving!”

You put the bagel in your mouth and gave him a two finger salute, heading towards your room to get dressed.

You decided on a yellow crop top and a pair of high waisted jeans and your brown open toed block heels. You did your make-up and hair and pretended like you didn’t hear him groan at you. He had moved from the living room to your room at this time to check on you.

Finally done, you grabbed your purse and hit him with it softly, “let’s go since you in a rush.”

He scanned you over and licked his lips before standing up. “Bout time, ma. We lost an hour because of you.”

“I told you I ain’t wanna go. So it’s your fault. If I’m being forced somewhere, Imma be happy with my appearance first.”

“Whatever. Let’s go. Also,” a sharp sting on your ass made you yelp.

You grabbed it and turned to him, “Erik!”

“That’s for hanging up on me. Twice.”

You tried to ignore the throbbing in your pussy at his dominance, but the longer you two stared each other down, the stronger it became.

Turning from him, you just about ran to the door. He met you outside your door and handed you your coffee mug. “Now you in a rush..” He locked your door with your key and led you to the elevators. You took the key from him.

“I was serious. You just walk in. This was for emergencies.” He strangely didn’t say anything.

You spent the whole day with him just goofing around with him. From popping in to the outreach center, to shopping around, to popping up to bars. Never a dull moment. Till you landed up back at his place, a little buzzed and giggling a bit too hard.

He sat you on the couch and grabbed the remote turning the tv on to some random channel and you both ignored it in favor to talk. The mood turned from playful to serious quickly when he asked about your night life. Wondering why you always act like the wing-woman and he never got to back you up.

“Men have a certain figure in mind when they go out. That’s alright. I know there’s a man out there for me somewhere and I’m ok waiting for him. But the ones in front of me think they’re doing me a favor by noticing me. When it really says much about them when they try to get with girls like us ‘as a favor’. They’re desperate and think we’re desperate. We’re not. We are just as beautiful as the other girls. We deserve to be loved just like the other girls. And until a man steps up to me with that mindset, only one man is allowed into my home, and it’s you.”

“What if you did already meet that man? And you were pushing him and his advances away?”

You leaned closer to him, and he copied. You let a small smile slip, “I didn’t. Because the man I currently want to be that man…he’s not interested.”

“And how would you know if you never gave him the chance to be?”

You placed a gentle hand on his cheek, gazing into his eyes, searching for something. With a loud “fuck it” in your heart. And an even louder “no” in your head, you pushed forward the last few inches and pressed your lips to his.

When he didn’t respond, you pulled back. “I’m sorry,” you whispered. “But I told you. He’s not interested.”

You grabbed your purse and ran out the door, trying to ignore the stinging in your eyes.

Why were you even crying? You knew this would be coming. And yet it still hurt.

“Baby girl…” you heard faintly in the distance. You panicked, not wanting to hear the famous, “it’s not you, it’s me speech”. You pressed the elevator button and ran down the stairs that were next to the elevators. By the time he got there the elevator should be closing and he might think it would be too late.

You grabbed a taxi home and repeated the events in your head. You were angry at yourself for not listening to your head. Your head is the only thing you could rely on.

Once in your home, you locked the door and lied down on your bed, not bothering with your makeup.

You saw the texts and calls from him the next day, but you chose to ignore them. It was Saturday and you would rather enjoy having the weekend off. But Erik however, wanted to knock on your door and pester you the whole day. But, you didn’t want to turn him away, nor did you want to talk to him. You sat by the door and listened to his banging.

“Come on, baby girl. I know you’re in there. I just want to talk. You ain’t let me do that last night. And you ain’t give me time to either. How you just gon’ kiss me for a second then dip when I don’t respond. I ain’t even get to register.”

_He’s right, you know._

If your heart didn’t stop butting in…your heart must be a masochist.

You bit your lip, contemplating his words a bit more.

“Come on, baby girl. You could either let me in or let me bust this door open. Either one is good with me. But I ain’t payin’ for repairs. You got ten seconds.”

“Ten.”

 _Don’t_.

“Nine.”

_He’s bluffing._

“Eight.”

_He’s only going to reject you._

“Seven.”

_But he’s trying so hard…maybe?_

“Six.”

_You KNOW he will…he’s always been so damn dramatic._

“Five.”

_So are you. Acting like it’s a hallmark movie._

“Four.”

_Crying at the door while ol’ buddy is threatening to bust it open._

“Three.”

You got up and opened the door slightly.

“Ok. What you want?”

“To come in, first and far most. Don’t be trying to down grade me.”

He pushed the door open the rest of the way easily and walked in as if _he_ payed the bills.

Taking in a deep breath, you turned to face him. “Ok. You’re in. Now what?”

He sat you down and he squatted in front of you, grabbing your hands and looking into your eyes.

“First, that was a punk move kissing me for a second then bolting. I was callin’ after you. Made me look like a wackass nigga.”

You rolled your eyes and tried to take your hands back. He held fast.

“Second, I didn’t mean to hurt you, baby girl. You’re my best friend. I would do anything for you. You my ride or die. And we vibe well together…I don’t want anything to change that.”

You sighed, “I know. I was a bit buzzed last night. So I know I overreacted. But it’s gonna take time for me to get past this, Erik. You get that, right?”

“Of course, I do, baby girl. Take all the time you need…I’m sorry I wasn’t the one for you.”

You shrugged, wanting this conversation over with. He kissed your forehead and made a move for the door. You called out for him.

“Hey, Erik?”

He stopped and turned to face you.

“No awkward shit when you pick me up Monday.”

“Nah, we gon’ be focused on our money.”

He closed the door as he left. And as he closed the door, you couldn’t help but think about how he closed the door on what could’ve been as well.

You shouldn’t though.

Because it wasn’t normal.

Because it wasn’t normal to have those feelings.

It wasn’t normal to think about him the way you do.

How his eyes twinkle when he has a plan.

How he never let’s you touch the first check of the day.

How he always picks you up so you never have to waste your gas or drive alone, especially at night.

You shouldn’t.

It wasn’t normal.

And yet you do.

You feel the feelings as strongly as if they were reciprocated.

And you would suffer through them. He’s your best friend.


End file.
